Ann Fry's"All About ReInvention" Blog

My Thoughts on 9/11

2011-09-11T13:03:00.005-04:00

I am resurrecting this blog ... it's been way too long. I'll be back a lot.

Today is the perfect day to ReGenerate a blog about ReInvention.
Think about where you were on 9/11. How did you first hear about it? Who were you with? Did you spend the day glued to the television like I did? Did you cry and wail for the horrific number of lives lost? Did you sit with the fear, wondering if we might all be endangered?

I was still living in Austin, TX back then. I was alone that morning. My then husband had gone to work, taken my car because his was in the shop. I was 30 miles outside of Austin and I knew none of my neighbors. We had moved to a couple of acres in a rural area. It was peaceful, but isolating.

I kept in touch with loved ones via telephone that day. Austin was threatened because it was President Bush's home. I wondered if my husband would make it home or if there would be an explosion at the capital or at the huge IRS campus.

None of that happened. My husband came home, my son and friends were all fine. But, none of us were really ever the same again. Our world and our lives had changed.

The message of 9/11 for me was "Life is way too short to be unhappy ... so live each moment to the fullest." As a result, in January, I asked for a divorce. I needed to leave an unhappy marriage of 25 years and search for more fulfillment. This started reinvention in an upward way.

I lived on my own in Austin for the next four years. I began dating men (that was fun.) In late 2005, I was yearning for something more and different. So, in March of 2006, I sold nearly everything and moved to NYC for a new adventure. I was 60 years old and starting life in the Big Apple .. a life long dream of mine.

My career thrived. I started speaking and writing about ReInvention. I published an autobiography called Sixty,Sexy, Sassy and Free: A Real Woman's Story of ReInvention. I was happy. Then, in 2009, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Suffice it to say it's been a challenging couple of years. Having cancer, as a self-employed, single person is overwhelming. I wondered how I would make a living. But, I've come through strong, am now healthy and rebuilding.... "reinventing." And, I'm still thrilled to be living in NYC.

Truthfully, none of that would have happened if terrorists hadn't crashed airplanes into the World Trade Towers on September 11, 2001. I would not have had the dose of reality I needed to push me forward. For that, I'm so incredibly grateful. It feels a bit selfish to feel grateful .. but I know many others who's lives have been touched in a positive way because of how they translated the 9/11 experience and used it to grow.

So, I ask you .... what are your thoughts on this day? How have you grown and changed by the wake up call we call 9/11.

Be safe.
ann

Two Things You Can ReInvent Even Today

2010-10-22T11:17:00.004-04:00

Today I'm reinventing two new things and I invite you to do the same. I'll choose what I reinvent and you can do the same ones or select something more pertinent to your own life.

First, I'm reinventing the order in which I do things during the day, just to shake things up. So, I already did things out of order. For example, instead of getting up and doing my stretching and meditating, I went to the computer first and checked email. Now, after this, I'll do the stretching and meditating. The point here is: Don't get bored, Break out of the routine of always doing things the same old way, shake things up!!

The second thing I'm going to do is to leave my apartment very early for an appointment I have in midtown Manhattan. Relying on subways (or maybe for you it's traffic), often impedes my commitment to be punctual and I find myself being anxious about getting there late. So, I worry, I try to call and tell them I'm still on the platform waiting for the train. So today, I'm giving myself a whole lot of extra time and reinventing my use of time.

This is just another tip on how ReInvention can be simple, non-threatening and something you bring into your life on a daily basis.

My posts are now going to be shorter and more regular... just to keep reinvention "top of mind" for you all.

ReInvention Revisited .... Again, and Again

2010-10-06T11:04:00.003-04:00

HI Everyone,
I've been on hiatus, and I can promise you that isn't going to happen again. I'll be sending out my entries a couple times a week from this point on. There is way too much happening, both globally and in our lives.

We are re-inventing politics these days, with the entrance of a (sort of) new party movement. That's certainly shaking things up a bit and causing some drama.

We're re-inventing companies with major mergers and acquisitions, either peacefully or in a hostile manner.

Huge corporations "say" their reinventing themselves, but huge profits and bonuses still seem to rule, and many are still laying off and not hiring.

People are reinventing their careers, many by circumstances, e.g. layoffs. The good news is, many are taking advantage of being unemployed to examine what they really, I mean REALLY, want to be doing and are reinventing into new, fulfilling work. Others, are floundering, looking in the same old places for the same old positions, not finding them and then being frustrated.

I wonder how many of you can see yourselves in these examples, whether globally or personally.
As a coach, I always love to ask some questions, so here goes?
1. Are you satisfied with where you are in the world, positionally?
2. Do you "do good and meaningful work" and feel good about it?
3. Are you engaged in what you love?
4. Is it time to reinvent or do things differently?

Take on listing everything you used to (or maybe even still) want to do. Putting it down on paper is helpful and you get clear. Then, set about going after it.

I'm always up for comments and questions, so keep me in the loop.
I'll have more at you soon.

Happy Fall,
Ann

Life Isn’t a Bowl of Cherries … It’s a Smorgasbord …You Like Some and you Dislike Some … But Sample it All

2010-08-08T10:04:00.001-04:00

Life Isn’t a Bowl of Cherries …
It’s a Smorgasbord …You Like Some and you Dislike Some … But Sample it All

Life isn’t a bowl of cherries. Sorry, I know many have spoken forever the opposite of that phrase. Life is actually like a full loaded food-bar, filled with lots of experiences, tastes and flavors, some pleasant, some not and many in between. Some of life gets shoved down your throat and much you create and enjoy yourself (like a new recipe). It’s up to you!

When you look at your life, where do you go? Do you look at where you currently are, what you’re experiencing now? Do think about everything that you’ve gone through and stay stuck in all that? Do you acknowledge yourself for all your accomplishments? Or, do you even remember what they all are?

I think you actually want to do a combination. You want to honor your experiences and celebrate your accomplishments. It’s really hard to see the upside of who you’ve become without examining what brought you here – the good, the bad and ugly. … all of it!

When I work with people and ask them who they are in the world, they often tell me their job title or position in life. They say, well, I’m a CEO, I’m a Manager, I’m a teacher, I’m a wife or husband or parent. True, I appreciate that. But who else are they? What have they experienced that has brought them to this place?

My belief: EVERYTHING that we have experienced brings us to where we are now. We had to go step by step through the fire, as well as through the accolades and we NEVER fully arrive because whatever is next shows up.

Story: Many years ago, I was visiting my Mother in the hospital. While there, I ran into an old high school buddy. We hadn’t seen each other in many years. In my mind, this woman had the “perfect life.” She came from a well-to-do, in-tact family. She married her high school boyfriend, they had two wonderful daughters. They lived in a beautiful home in a wonderful neighborhood. And, to boot (much to my disdain) she was gorgeous and a size 4 or 6. I had always envied her.
At this encounter, I sucked it up and had a coffee with her, trying to quell my instant jealousy. Well, as it turns out, the tables were way turned .. I was shocked. Here’s what happened. She was at the hospital because her Father-in-law was dying. I, of course, gave her my condolences.

Important note here: She knew that I’d been through many difficult circumstances in my life. I came from a single parent home (Dad left when I was 4), she knew my Mother struggled to provide and we had little when I was young. She knew that I’d experienced tragedy with the loss of two brothers a few years back and that now I was facing my Mother’s debilitating illness.
Anyhow, we’re having coffee and she says to me, “Ann, I’ve always admired you. “ (I was shocked). “You know how to handle life and the difficulties it presents and I’ve NEVER had to deal with anything remotely hard, my life has been easy.” (That I knew.) “I don’t know how to handle this impending death. I’m totally unprepared with how to handle difficult circumstances. Can you give me some advice?”

That was a moment where I embraced and even became grateful for many of the hard things I’d handled in life. I knew I was more prepared. I knew I was strong and resilient. It was a pivotal moment. I did, of course, try to comfort her and offer her some ideas about how to cope, etc. I especially shared with her the importance of acknowledging her feelings and expressing them … not to suppress them. I told her it would eventually make her stronger and be of assistance as she faced further crises in her life. It was, indeed a wonderful encounter.

My work over the years has been shaped by this and many other events. Yes, I was a clinical social worker - therapist. I had training in how to be helpful to others. But, more importantly, I had life experience that taught me that I could make it through nearly anything, survive .. .and then even thrive beyond. In fact, it has taught me that I can be happy and fulfilled … I can chase life, I can reinvent it, and create it to be what I want.

I suggest now, in my work as a coach and as a “motivational” speaker that people embrace all aspects of their lives with appreciation. Do I mean you should be happy when you lose people or are struck with illness yourself, or lose jobs or anything else? No, you aren’t happy, of course not. But, you are being given the gift of opportunity here – a chance to deal with difficulty and then move beyond it, to go beyond where you ever thought you could … for yourself and for others.

Example: When I was 32 years old (yes, a very long time ago), I gave birth to my wonderful child, Gabriel. He was perfect. I was in love from the very first moment I laid eyes on him. It was a heavenly time. However, in that incredible time of happiness, I was also involved in the experience of my younger brother, age 27, dying from cancer.
That was in March of that year. Then, in September of that year, when my baby son was only 7 months old, my brother died. He’d been diagnosed the previous November with malignant melanoma and it took his life in only 10 months. He was 5 years younger than me and felt more like a child to me (you know I was the older sister helping my single Mom care for him.) Anyhow, to make matters worse, two weeks after my brother died, my older half-brother was killed in a car accident. It was the best of years, and the worst of years. Not only did I have to learn to handle my own grief, but also to support my Mother through the loss of two sons AND yet, there was the glory of this incredible new life that we all celebrated. I’m sort of convinced that Gabriel came when he did to actually help us transcend that tragedy.

Note: I had many things that prepared me to go through that year. My grandparents had all died. My Father had died when I was 19 (although he was mostly absent, we had reconnected in my teens.) My Mother had been dealing with a serious illness for many years. And, as a therapist, I’d done much of my own therapy and work to deal with everything as it came along. Was I prepared for that year .. with the double tragedy? Absolutely not. We’re never prepared for loss and grief, even when we know it’s coming. But perhaps some of us handle it more easily than others.

So, what’s my point here? What have I learned that I can pass on? Again, I say, sample it all, embrace it all, and let it teach you gratitude as well.

Assignment: Take this on, if you’d like.
1. Make a list of all the difficult things you’ve experienced. While you do it, it might be emotional, but also you can appreciate in the moment that you’ve handled it all. You’re still here.
2. Make another list of all the incredible things you’ve accomplished in your life, e.g. graduated high school or college, jobs you’ve held, how your kids have turned out, living situations, etc.
3. If you’re up to it, make a list of what you’ve learned along the way. Here’s a few of my lessons… just to spur you on:
a. People are with us for as long as they are – enjoy them.
b. Know that when you “let go”you open yourself up for more good things to come into your life.
c. It takes something unpleasant to remind us of how good life can be.
d. I can handle way more than I expect (although I’m not asking for more.)

So, my final words? Think of when you go to a restaurant with a smorgasbord .. a buffet… an “all you can eat” food bar. You go around the tables, you look, you smell. You take some and you leave the rest behind. Maybe you come back for more or different. Those of you who are adventurous might, perhaps, taste some things you haven’t tried before and give yourself a new experience. Perhaps you remember tasting those things before and that you didn’t like them, so you leave them behind. Importantly, you get to choose what to have linger on your palate, what will never enter your lips. It’s up to you …. You can eat a little, you can stuff yourself and be full and uncomfortable. You choose.

As I continue to work with people as they take on their life, as they ReInvent themselves, I’m committed to doing whatever it takes to get them where they want to be. I don’t mince words, I express myself fully, hoping to help them do the same .. to tell themselves the truth. Once they face their truths, their sadnesses, their circumstances AND look at their accomplishments, they can begin to move forward to whatever is next in their lives.

Until next time,
thanks for taking on your life.
ann

What's it all about, Alfie? What Are We Meant to Do?

2010-07-18T11:16:00.004-04:00

Good Sunday morning everyone.
Back in the 70's there was a movie and a song called, What's It All About Alfie? For some reason, the words are buzzing in my ears this morning. Reinvention is strongly on my mind. I'm in the midst of it... and truly, whether most admit it or not, everyone is. The world is a different place these days. What used to work, doesn't. So, it's off to the drawing boards for us all.

As I share the words below, think of what they conjure up for you.
Here are the words:

what's it all about alfie
is it just for the moment we live

what's it all about
when you sort it out, alfie
are we meant to take more than we give
or are we meant to be kind?

and if, if only fools are kind, alfie
then I guess it is wise to be cruel
and if life belongs only to the strong, alfie
what will you lend on an old golden rule?

as sure as I believe there's a heaven above
alfie, I know there's something much more
something even non-believers can believe in

i believe in love, alfie
without true love we just exist, alfie
until you find the love you've missed
you're nothing, alfie

when you walk
let your heart lead the way
and you'll find love any day
alfie
oh alfie
what's it all about alfie?

I invite you to the journey. It's never very easy. I love all that I am, what I do; and yet, I'm beginning to get the wanderlust ...
where should I be next,
is there something else I'm meant to do?
what about you?

Happy Sunday,
ann

Attitude ReInvention ... It's Up to YOU!

2010-07-11T12:32:00.003-04:00

Good Sunday afternoon everyone.
I hope you are well and enjoying the beautiful Summer day wherever you are.

I started thinking today about how much most of us need to continuously "reinvent" our attitude .. sometimes from minute to minute, and certainly day to day. There are many circumstances that live out there in the world that can suck us down. How do we, instead, bounce, be resilient, reinvent the feeling along the way?

For many years, I was a psychotherapist. When I had a session with a client, I could always put my own feelings, issues, worries on the back burner, focus on the client and not even think about myself. That made me a good therapist. Well, in times like these, it's not always so easy to put myself and my "stuff" on the back burner.

REInvention is about tweaking, shifting ... changing. I often teach the principle that you can't feel bad and good at the very same moment. Think about it. When you're feeling bad, then you're feeling bad. When you're feeling good, then you're feeling good. And, you can choose (albeit difficult at times) to shift from one to the other. I prefer to shift from feeling bad to feeling good (but, hey, each to their own.)
In other words, you can reinvent your attitude .. in the moment, and shift.

Example: This morning, I was feeling a bit low. I've had some medication challenges recently and some side effects. I'm frustrated by it all and I'm a bit more moody then I like. However, I got a phone call from my son, telling me that he and his band were driving back to Austin in the wee hours this morning after a gig. A tire on their van blew, they swerved off the road. They saw some oil/gas on the road nearby and quickly got all of their instruments (and themselves) out of the van. And yup, you got it, the van burst into flames and completely consumed the vehicle. BUT, THEY ARE ALL SAFE!

My attitude immediately shifted from feeling low about myself to great gratitude for the safety of my son and his bandmates. My stuff was insignificant in that moment.

So, where can you look at your life now .. and reinvent how you feel about it? That's my challenge. We're seeing lots of tweaking of attitudes as teams contend in the World Cup games. We see it as people deal with difficult circumstances in these challenging times. We have to be responsible for our own tweaking.

Have a glorious Sunday.
Ann

Is it Time To Reinvent Yet Again???

2010-06-27T12:00:00.005-04:00

Hi Everyone,
It's Sunday, June 27th and it's a beautiful day in NYC.
I just returned from a trip to Connecticut where I delivered a morning workshop to a group of healthcare workers.

I'm incredibly lucky... I love what I do. I have passion for my audiences, for my topics. I'm constantly tweaking to make it better and more purposeful.
I had wonderful side-bar conversations with some of the participants and their comments ranged from questions to "I don't know if I can do this."

Their questions/comments were usually things like:
1. I'm not happy, but I don't really think I can make any changes
2. I've been wanting to get a divorce for over 10 years, but haven't had the courage
3. What are some babysteps I can make?
4. Who can really be there to help me through the whole process?
5. Change is scary.

You get the drift.
We're all in that boat. We all want to make changes in our lives, whether it be small ones or large ones. Sometimes the changes have to do with what's "not" working and other times it's about wanting to try something new and different (and there's not necessarily anything wrong.)

I say that before we can make a change we need to Show Up,Be Willing, Tell ourselves the Truth and then Give Ourselves Permission.

So have you "shown up".... are you thinking about how things are and wondering if they could be different?
Are you willing to engage in the conversation with yourself and others ... just explore?
Can you tell the truth about what's working, what's not, where you're happy and where you're not, if making a change is viable considering where you are in your life right now?
And lastly, will you give yourself permission to actually take some steps, or dive in?

If you can answer yes, then it's time to move forward.

Reinvention is all around you. Just google the word. You'll see that GM is reinventing their company, BP and Toyota are reinventing their advertising, Lady Gaga is reinventing her look and her outrageousness every day. Government is reinventing it's policies. Businesses are reinventing their services and their products.

So, why shouldn't you take on reinventing yourself again...at whatever stage of life you're at?

I'm constantly thinking of what's next for me. Can I add a new service, start a new workshop, change my speaking topics, take my work on the road, write a new book?
Yesterday I went to see the Joan Rivers movie about her life and how she has been unstoppable and done whatever it takes to continue to perform, make money, work, feel purposeful. It was very inspiring. She is 75 and has no intention of slowing down. You should see what an ordinary day's schedule looks like in her life. It seems she never gives up, never sits down and just wastes time in front of the TV .. she is always "generating" what's next.

I invite you to take a look at how you're living your life.
Are you loving it?
Are you just surviving and muddling through OR are you thriving?
Are you yearning for more, but taking no action?
Are you excited about new things you want to do.

Remember what I always say: Do you want to die with your dreams inside you?

As always, I'm here to help... feel free to comment, ask questions, etc.
Til next time,
ann

REInvention is a Lot of Things

2010-06-21T23:20:00.003-04:00

HI Everyone,
We often get very intimidated by the concept of reinvention, so I thought I would offer you a simpler way of looking at it.

Let's say you walk to work each day (as people do in NY). And let's say you consistently go the same way but one day, the street is blocked off because of repairs. What do you do? Well, you can either stand there and wait for it to re-open and not get to work OR you can go another way. The end result is.. you still get to work.

Well, reinvention can actually be like that. Here are some examples of how to reinvent:
• Walk/drive to work a different way
• Wear new colors
• Eat something different for breakfast
• Buy a new/different raincoat or umbrella
• Change your haircut or color
• Take on a new/different hobby
• Sizzle in a new relationship
• Create a new logo or letterhead

You see, it's all about doing something different. There's nothing to be afraid of.

You don't have to throw the baby out with the bath water. You can do what you've always done, but with a little shift or tweak. Or, if what you've always done works, keep doing it the same way and reinvent something else.

I say this all the time .. you don't have move to Timbuktu, give up your kids and shave your head to reinvent.. you DO just have to be open to looking "newly" at something and tweaking it.

For more ideas, go to www.annfry.com and download the FREE 33 Ways to ReInvent
enjoy!
ann

You Get to Choose

2010-06-11T13:41:00.003-04:00

Hi Everyone,
I've been having many conversations lately with people in the midst of re-creating themselves. They are taking risks, trying new things, are excited about some of their new directions; however, they're also butting up against the angst of change.

In step #5 of my 7 1/2 Steps to Transcend the Status Quo, I say: Get a plan for uncertainty. It's the times of not knowing what to do, how to do it, when to do it, why to do it .. that get us in the hot seat. You see, when involved in change, we are way outside our comfort zone. It seems it would be so much easier to return to the space of doing what we already know, even though it's not fulfilling or isn't working. I mean, right? AT least with the old, we know what to expect, we're not caught off guard. Example: If we have a job and can depend on a steady income, it's easier to not leave than to risk NOT making money for a bit while we look for or try something different. If we live in a decent place in a nice neighborhood, in a nice city, in a nice state and we know a lot of people ... even if we're bored there, we want to stay, because ... if we move someplace else.. what might it be like? Right?

Making a change, shifting a behavior involves a huge learning curve. We are in uncharted waters. Say you always worked in a company and now you're the boss of your own company. You have to do it all and you probably don't know how to do it all. You could hire help, but maybe you can't afford to yet... so, the learning curve.

Let's zoom down now into the emotional side. There's the practical side .. the decision making side, weighing the pros and cons of a change. Say you decide you're close to doing it OR you've already made the shift. Here's what happens:

On the one side, you're feeling:
• Fear
• Difficulty in accepting help or asking for it
• A Sense of righteousness ... e.g. "I know what I'm talking about, you can't tell, etc"
• Impatience -- things aren't happening fast enough.

Sound familiar? It certainly does to me. That about sums up my negative side or the challenging side of my personality.

However, on the other side, there are some more useful ways to be or feel.
• Be authentic/ humble
• Be passionate
• Be open
• Ask for what you need and be willing to accept it
• Be vulnerable
• Be truthful
• Be optimisitc
• Be CLEAR about your goals

Do you have some of these ways of being? I do.

In a recent conversation with a wonderful mentor of mine, she challenged me to look at both sides of my schizophrenic self. I'm all of this stuff.
I'm incredibly independent, driven, a bit demanding at times, self-righteous, impatient .. and I'm incredibly fearful at times.
However, I also am all of the things on the second list.

In our conversation, we determined that all I have to do when I'm in the space of the first list is CHOOSE to shift to my other ways of being.
In a moment, when fearful, I can CHOOSE to be vulnerable .. that gives me more choice: I can stay with the fear, and cry and curl up and vent (sometimes very useful) ... OR I can choose to be optimistic, remember how passionate I am and ask for help.

The way through (there is no "way out") .. is to CHOOSE in the moment how you want to be. Try it on, see if it works.

Reinvention is not easy, but it is very rewarding. Remember what I often say:
"Don't die with your dreams inside you." ... take on the life, job, relationship, etc that you want ... have it your way.

Have a great weekend.
Tootles,
Ann

Some ReInvention Ramblings

2010-05-24T10:22:00.002-04:00

Good Morning,
First, I would love to reinvent customer service today ... especially on the internet. Do you know how difficult it is to change a password on an account? They send you lots of directions, but first you have to remember your original password (which obviously I forgot) and then enter a new one. I went round and round for about a half hour, and of course there was no live person to communicate with. Somehow, I must have pushed the right button somewhere along the lines and voila .. a new password, finally! I would love for every company to REINVENT by having live, call in (as on the phone) help.

Second, I've been thinking more about why people are so afraid of reinvention. I often get asked if I could use a less threatening word. Well, my answer is no .. I'll not use a less scary word. Reinvention does not have to be scary. Let's talk more about this.

Here are a couple of questions:
1. Do you do the same thing everyday?
2. Do you drive (or walk or subway or bus) to work exactly the same way every day?
3. Do you ever change your hairstyle or makeup or way of dress?
4. Do you sometimes change your phone message?
5. Do you try new foods at restaurants?

You see, reinvention can be teeny, tiny .. little small steps. The word reinvent means to to remake or make over, as in a different form: example: At 60, he reinvented himself as a volunteer. Another definition: to bring back; revive: to reinvent trust and accountability.

It's all about perspective or perception. If you do something one way, can you look at it with a different lens and perhaps see another way to do it. Or can you pretend that you are viewing through someone else's lenses and see it from their viewpoint?

Today, I'm reinventing my relationship with food. I'm taking on looking at how I eat, what I eat, how often, how much. I'm going to reinvent this today, keep tabs on it, and tweak it each day until I find a new way of eating on a more regular basis. I know that what I have been doing hasn't been working, so it's time for a different perspective. I'm not calling it a diet because diets don't work (for me). I'm calling it a shift in perspective and some tweaks in behavior. That makes it less stressful and scary for me.

What can you reinvent today that might have a very positive influence on who you are, what you do, etc?

Enjoy taking on something new today, then tomorrow.
Remember the old saying, "you can't teach old dogs, new tricks?" Well, I'm an old dog, and I'm still teachable. How about you? All it takes is an ounce of willingness.

Happy Monday,
ann

Nothing Remains the Same ... Everything Eventually Changes

2010-05-10T00:22:00.003-04:00

Hello Everyone,
I've been out of commission for a few days. First, my webmaster got a new job and I'm searching for someone to replace her. I'm desperate ... that sort of change I DON'T like.
As it turns out, just as we ended our working relationship, blogger changed their format and I was stuck not knowing how to get into this site.

That's all over now... I'm here. Yay! Thanks to John H, my son's friend for migrating the old site over to this new site.

So you see ... nothing ever remains the same.

We seem to live in this mythical world where we think we can control our lives by NOT making any change. Many of us stay in the rut of our lives. We go to work every day at the same place, we drive to/from there on the same path, we eat at the same places, we come home at night and watch the same TV shows and interact with the same people we know. Now, if all of this makes us happy and fulfilled, then no problem. However, if there is some complaining about any part of it .. then perhaps it's time to make some changes.

Making a change, however, means giving up control ... taking a risk. We know how things are now, as they are, but we have no idea how they will be if they are different. There is the rub ... we don't have a clue how things will be until we try, and we are afraid to get out of our comfort zone and try.

So, what to do?
By the way, this isn't just for individuals .. it happens in business -- corporations, small businesses, independent businesses, non-profits, schools ... you name it. It's always easier to stay where we are, doing what we do .. than to think outside the box and try something new and different. The lingering questions underlying it all is..."what if it doesn't work?" I suggest a better question might be .."Is it working now?"

Again, if it's working, don't fix it. If it's not, then go off to the drawing board to draft a new plan.
So, how do you know if it's working? Here's a suggestion.

Sit down with a friend or a coach or a small group and talk about where your life (or your business) is NOW. Ask youself, "Is there something I need to STOP doing?" Talk about it out loud with them and be willing to listen.

Nothing can begin to change or migrate in a different direction unless you first acknowledge that something must stop first... that something isn't working as well as you would like it to.

Willing to take a look? Willing to ask and answer the question? I hope so.
Be brave -- you can do it.
And, if you need someone for support, I'm right here.

NOTE: Do you think that if every country in the world would ask this question: What needs to change OR What do I need to stop doing? .. that perhaps things would be different? Just a thought.

Thanks for playing.
See you soon.
ann

Reinventing to Look more Age-Appropriate, and More

2010-04-24T10:01:00.003-04:00

Good Saturday Morning,
I've been so busy reinventing myself that I haven't paid attention to this blogsite.
For those of you that come around looking for a new entry, please come back. I'm back up to speed and will write several times a week.

So, what is there to say about ReInvention these days ... or better, what isn't there to say?

Have you seen the new Toyota ads? They are really reinventing their friendliness approach to buying their cars. As a nearly lifelong owner of Toyotas, I'm so disappointed in what I've been reading about them. Did making money become more important than driver safety? Were facts known and ignored? Who knows for sure. I do know that I loved their cars... had many. Since I live in NYC, I don't have a car. I actually don't intend to own one again unless I move out of this city... but I would have great doubt now about buying that brand.

About brands, I've been tweaking my brand.
Yes, each one of us has our own brand and it's made up of many components. For example, here are some of the aspects of my brand (and you can consider right along with me, what your brand components are.)
1. My name ... well, Ann Fry... that stays the same. Fry is my married name and I'm now divorced, so that could change someday if the knight in shining armor shows up.
2. My moniker ... my subtitle as a professional. As you can see from the web address above, I call myself .. The ReInvention Hotshot! It fits me. I help companies and individuals reinvent and I'm sassy enough to call myself a Hotshot!
3. My look. We all change our look now and again. My headshots are all over my webpages, my business cards. As a speaker, it's expected that people be able to see a picture of who they are talking with. Well, here is the current reinvention for me.

MY LOOK:
I've had to change my look due to a recent bout of breast cancer, which resulted in chemotherapy, which resulted in losing my hair. I've written of this before.
Well, chemo is over, my hair is starting to grow back in and it is very different from how it was.
First, my hair is coming in totally silver -- that's a straight out indicator to you that I've colored it for years... so now you know.
Second, although it was always sort of curly, it's coming back even more curly.
Third, I've been loving the "no-maintenance" style of wash and wear. In the past, I had to use all these special products, blow dry, flat iron, non-friz stuff, etc. If it was raining, I'd have a really bad hair day. Not to mention all the time it took. Not to mention when it cost to color and frost (2 process deal) to keep that look.

SO, I'm thinking I'm going to keep my new natural, simple look. I'm going to stay silver, keep it very, very, head-hugging short. Of course, I'll have to change my glasses and maybe some make-up shades ... and voila ... a NEW LOOK.

Now, lest you think this is a silly conversation, consider how such a thing impacts people in the workplace all the time. Do we not have ageism in the workplace? Is it considered distinguished for a man to have silver hair? But what about a woman? Is she just seen as old? So, there's a risk for me to stay silver white. Will my corporate clients look at me differently and reconsider whether to "keep" me onboard? OR, will they embrace my age and wisdom?

What am I saying here? Well, point blank... as I reinvent my look, will it create a huge risk? A possibility of a shift in business? Perhaps some will want to put me out to pasture (I hope not)... but others, perhaps, will rush to hire me ... respecting the Sage that I am. If nothing else, I've always been sort of edgy, sassy. I don't play inside the box and often I'm hired and respected for that. So, we'll see.
As I begin to "come out" and be seen as my new reinvented self, other people's colors will show.

Point: REInvention takes courage .. it's a risk. Are you willing? Do you sit back and NOT change for fear others will not take well to it? Do you remain in the status quo? Do you move forward? That is for you to ponder.

Truth: I am a "mature" woman ... I'm tired of pretending (as in coloring and punking my hair) that I'm less than that. I'm ready for the world to accept me as the real me. AND... I'm scared to death.

Thanks for reading.
Back at you soon.
ann

More Ramblings - Tiger Woods, Olympics, Hatred and Angst

2010-02-21T10:55:00.004-05:00

Hello Everyone,
It's an interesting week. The Olympics are underway in Vancouver, the media is all over how the Canadians say "eh," Tiger Woods has apologized, a man flew a plane into a building in Austin, TX and killed himself and another in the process. I'm sure that somewhere out there, there's celebrity news as well .. I'm just not tuned in.

About the Olympics. I know people love them, but I have some thoughts on reinventing our views and beliefs about them. It's a concern to me that we spend millions of dollars on fireworks and gala events in a time when the world is in distress. How many people could we feed with that money. I so admire the young people who devote their lives to their skill training and put their body, souls and heart into it. It's grueling and often their childhood is put on hold. I worry about them. Then, when they come in 4th and don't get a medal, it's like their life is over. I'd love to find some ways to honor even getting to the Olympics and being better than 99.9% of the population. When are people every "good enough?" And how can we honor that without making it about being #1, 2 or 3?

About Tiger Woods. I think it took real guts for him to come out this week and apologize so publically. He was definitely a different Tiger at that podium. Now, the media is tearing apart whether he was apologetic enough. Who are they to say? I saw an interview this morning with an "Apology expert." She gave him an A- pretty darn good. Let's reinvent how we love to knock people off their pedestal when they show a "human side." Do I approve of what Tiger did? No. Is it my business what he did? No. It's between he and his wife ... and in this case, his sponsors. The therapist in me (I was one for 30 years) says... "there but for the grace of God go I." No one is exempt from mistakes, addictions and bad judgement. History is filled with them. It's how we learn and grow.

About Joseph Stack. A man builds up incredible anger and angst at the IRS and the government. I'm sure many of us have had feelings like that before. He, who appeared normal to those around him, obviously was teetering on the brink, simmering under the surface and then, seemingly "lost it." I feel incredible sadness for him and his family. And, having lived in Austin (in fact I lived less than 1/2 mile down the road from that building).. I'm sad for the residents of that great city. Although this was not a "terrorist" act, the site of an airplane into a building will bring back any post-traumatic shock anyone has had of a scene like this in the past. I'm sure that was intentional on Mr. Stack's part. What if that was avoidable? What if the powers that be could have responded to him in a different way? What if the government could be compassionate to people and listen and be helpful? Now that would be a major reinvention.

Personally, I went to the Dept. of Motor Vehicles this week in NY. I wanted to trade in my TX driver's license for my NY license .. and yes, finally become a resident of NY. The woman at the information desk handed me a form, told me to come back when I had my passport or birth certificate and my SS card. She never looked at me, and she certainly didn't want any further questions. She was on to "next." What if we reinvented this world to a place where people come from their hearts and their desire to be helpful ... and all people they served felt honored and assisted. Now that would be a reinvented attitude at work.

That's what I do. I'm the reinvention hotshot ... working with companies to reinvent their culture into one that cares about their employees and customers.
Thanks for reading.
As always, your comments are invited.

Some Ramblings (not so pleasant) About ReInvention

2010-02-15T10:51:00.004-05:00

Rambling #1 -- Vday

Well, it's the day after Valentine's Day ... and I survived. Why do I say that? Well, I would love to see Valentine's Day (an invented holiday) either removed from the list or ReInvented to include just LOVE for all mankind. By making VDay (as I like to call it) about romance, it causes more pain than glory. Let me explain.

First, there shouldn't be only one day expressly set for people to honor their one and only love. I think that might best be done daily. And, what about spontaneously? When I was married, I loved it when my husband brought me flowers for no reason at all (although some of my friends assumed the worst .. that he maybe was guilty for something.)

Second, by suggesting that Vday is all about romance and love and sex ... it hurts many people who are dealing with 1) an unhappy relationship with a significant other and the hypocrisy of being honored that one day when many other days are lousy. 2) the loneliness of not having a significant other and feeling totally sad about that and not wanting it in your face. 3) the sadness of having lost their love, as in being widowed, divorced, etc.

If, on the other hand, we make Vday a day to love everyone ... then it's about acceptance, appreciation for our co-workers, our children, our friends. Yes, I know, there are cards for that and a slight inclination ... but truly, it's all about diamonds and flowers and dinner for two.

Let's reinvent that.

Rambling #2 -- Holidays
Let's also consider reinventing our relationship to honoring holidays in another way. In this day and age, a holiday is merely an excuse to 1) Not go to work (think of all the people that hate their jobs and actually WANT a day off to not work). 2) An opportunity for shopping and commercialism -- everyone is home today, let's sucker them for all they can or cannot afford to spend on their credit cards.

You see, many holidays could be seen as sacred and significant. Think of today .. we are celebrating and honoring Presidents Lincoln and Washington ... exactly HOW does that relate to shopping and spending money?

Here's where I date myself. When I was a kid... stores were actually ALL closed on Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year's Day, Fourth of July, etc. The people who worked in retail actually got that day off and the reasons for the holidays were ever-present ... there were events to celebrate the value of the day, to be with loved ones. Now, probably only Christmas and Thanksgiving honor that.. maybe Easter.

I bet if you were to ask the typical woman/man on the street what today means and why it's a holiday, they couldn't tell you. That's sad.

Let's reinvent this.

Rambling #3 -- Reinvention is NOT to be feared.
Some people hear the word ReInvention and totally freak out. I actually have people say "I can't come to your reinvention workshop .. I'm way to scared." I wonder what they are scared about. I'm not going to suggest they prance naked through the streets. I'm just suggesting that each and everyone of us take a day (or whatever amount of time) to look at our lives and inquire into where we might "tweak it" .. where it's working, where it's not and how we might remedy that. Beyond that, I might suggest each one of us start becoming the person we are meant to be. One of my favorite sayings (yes, mine) is: Stop ripping off the world and be who you are meant to be.

ReInventing is about little steps .. it's not about doing everything completely different between this moment and the next. It's incremental. When we die, don't we want to feel like we reeealllly lived? I don't know about you .. but I'm not willing to settle for how it's always been (the status quo). I don't think you want to either.

Let's reinvent our relationship with ReInvention.

So. thanks for letting me ramble on this President's Day holiday. It's 11:30 in the morning, I'm still in my pajamas. Of course, I work at home, so I'm often in my pajamas half way through the day. I'm lucky -- don't have to get up and go to work each morning. If that annoys you .. then, hey, you too can have it if you're willing to give up the daily grind, take a risk, leap and reinvent.

Happy Holiday Monday

Stay the Same .. or Take ACTION .. The notion of Different!

2010-02-01T00:03:00.003-05:00

On my website, at www.annfry.com I have the following quote: Wanting things to be different and doing what it takes to make things different are two different things!

We all wake up everyday, and during the course of that day, we have thoughts about how things are, how they're going, what's working, what's not ... in other words, we think many times a day about what we want to be different. We are seldom okay with how things are.

We can want things to be different -- we can wish and hope... but making things different .. now that is a much more challenging call. We want .. but do we have the guts, or will we take the time, or can we figure out the how, etc.

We hear people complaining about the government all the time ... criticizing and ranting and blaming. But, actually, what do they then DO to change what they don't like? It's all about ACTION. Ask yourself .. Am I someone who takes action? Or do I sit back and dream about it all, but do nothing? Tell the truth.

I might be the reinvention hotshot, but first and foremost, I'm a human being. I, like many of you, will wish and hope and then sit back and take NO action. Why? In my case, I get hooked into the "I don't know how." place. I spin my wheels, over think it, whine, doubt, etc. I ask everyone else what I need to do or should do. I weigh all the options ... ad nauseum. Eventually, I'll get sick and tired enough of not taking any action and will then do something.
For example. I've been needing to upgrade the content on my website for a long time. I've thought about it. I've printed out the old and carried it with me to make some upgrades, but yet, I didn't. Well, today, I had a burst of energy and just did it. It took about an hour to cut an paste and edit. My webmaster was working, so when I shot it all off to her, she got it done and up immediately. Wow! Weeks of NOT doing got done in an hour. That's ACTION.

Another thing to consider about not taking action ... we get to sit in a space of laziness, fear, aggravation. We get to be slugs. We get to be righteous about how no one is calling us, or using our services, etc. We blame others for our lack of work or whatever it might be. If the truth be known, however, it's US... our not doing anything.

We just get used to the status quo .. to staying where we are, doing the same old thing, whining and complaining about it. Sometimes, the circumstances can be overwhelming and we really don't know what to do OR it seems there's nothing to do.
NOTE: REInvention is NOT easy ... it's scary, demanding, challenging. It takes time and energy and perseverence and guts. It's not for the weak. Give yourself lots of nurturing attention and reassurance and pats on the back as you make progress. Take some down time, yell and scream and get frustrated.. and then, get back on the horse and keep riding forward.

The ACTION will lead to the change you want (eventually). Your life will be different AND it will take some getting used to ... AND it will be better than before if you acknowledge it and appreciate it.

So, stay where you are or take ACTION for things to be different. It's all up to you and you get to choose.
Happy ReInventing.

Shut Up and Take Action

2010-01-24T18:05:00.004-05:00

(To listen to this blog rather than read it go here: http://tinyurl.com/2t3vgw )

Hi Everyone,
I think I want to rant a bit. There are so many things to reinvent in the world. If I were queen for a day... here's what I'd love to change:
- the whole political system in this country -- too much fighting and back stabbing
- the fact that people don't seem to understand one another -- the old "walk in someone else's shoes idea" ... if you're rich, spend a few days living like a poor person; and if you're poor, spend a few days living like a rich person. You'll see we all have issues.
- all the award shows ... could we just combine them into one long show ...?
- public fighting ... as on TV. I'm sick of the NBC issues. Do we need all these talk shows anyhow?
- lack of respect. I live in NYC, ride subways and buses. I can't tell you the number of young people that NEVER get up and give their seat to an older person who might need it. I can' even tell you how many younger people don't hold the door when they walk out, but rather just let it slam on the person behind them.
- news reporting... couldn't they just report what's happening without trying to destroy the person they're reporting about... people can make up their own minds.

Well, I could go on and on about my opinions. I won't. The point is ... there's much to change in the world AND we are mostly unable to pull those changes off. We can complain and whine; we can vote for change; we can write our editors, etc ... do what we can. There's a lot of frustration in trying to change big systems.

That being said .. we CAN effectly cause change in our own lives and maybe even those close to us. If we're sick and tired of how things are, we can work to shift our circumstances and have different experiences.

Stop saying "I can't." Stop thinking you can't. You can. If you're willing.

Much of my own personal change these days is circumstantial and sometimes feels out of my control. I have a scary health diagnosis, am getting treatment. It's an annoyance and I can't change that I have it. But, I can reinvent how I look at it all and deal with it. It IS up to me.

So, where in your life do you need to shut up and just take matters into your own hands to make some shifts and changes? I challenge you to take some action.

Share your thoughts, your actions... let us know what you're up to.
Reinvention is not overrated .. it's amazing and liberating and empowering.

Hang in there.
Ann

If Starbucks Can Do it ... You can do it!

2010-01-22T09:36:00.003-05:00

Hi Everyone,
I've been on hiatus for a couple of weeks .. some travel, and some other business. I'm back and will be more regular.

ReInvention is such a hot word. I get a google alert everyday about reinvention and it's chock full of all sorts of articles. I read about movie characters being reinvented, companies reinventing, individuals blogging about how they're reinventing their lives. It's wonderful. So, I started wondering even more why the word is so popular and why so many people are re-examining their lives or the cultures of their companies, etc.

It's not rocket science. Our world is in a whirlwind of challenge and change. We have wars, we have devastating earthquakes and tornadoes, we have a very volatile economy and many unemployed people. There is no certainty at all .. in anything. Even the wealthy are having to sacrifice and watch more carefully. Nothing can be depended on. No one escapes the effects of all this turmoil.

So, change becomes the issue. If things aren't working, then do something different. Period. I'll continue to stress that all the time.

I just saw an interesting article on Starbucks. During the last couple of years, they realized that their popularity wasn't where it once was. They needed to go back to the drawing board and consider the quality of their products, create new foods and flavors, begin a social media blitz. They reinvented a great deal. (You can read the whole article here: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1955588,00.html)

So, what makes you any different than Starbucks. What do you have to stop doing or start doing that might make all the difference? Where would reinvention help you? Do you need to shift your attitude? Your career? Do you need to move locations? Do you need to commit to something? Take stock ... look around at your life.

I refer to our present life, at least for most of us, as remaining in the status quo. We do what we do, we don't spend too much time analyzing it, we DO spend time complaining about it. But, do we do what it takes to shift it into something we don't want to complain about?

I'll use myself here as an example. I speak professionally and I coach people. I've had different focuses over the years. Originally I started Humor University. I brought humor to the workplace (even wrote a book about it.) I continue to speak and to coach, but have transitioned quite a bit into this whole reinvention topic. I work with companies to shift their culture .. still bringing fun and happiness into the corporate environment. I work with individuals wanting to have some shift in their life. I run reinvention workshops. However, in this last one .. the workshops, I'm not attracting enough people. I hear people all around me saying how confused they are and how they want things to be different. But, when it comes to plunking down some cash to get into the workshop, they don't. So, I have to rewrite my brochures to be more compelling, or do more social media pushing or something. I have to get some advice on how to reinvent the reinvention workshop literature so that people are drawn to it. Maybe I'll even have to call it something different.

You see, it's about "tweaking." How do you tweak what you do all the time to continue to raise the bar? What does it take? If you're an entrepreneur you do that all the time. If you're a business, you do that all the time.

So, I ask you .. where in your life do you have to "tweak?" Where do you want to raise the bar? What do you want to be different? ANd, what's one step you can take today to begin to do that?

Happy ReInventing.
I welcome your comments.... especially on what you would call a reinvention workshop so that people would come.
Thanks, and happy weekend.
ann

Creating a ReInvention Vision

2010-01-08T14:14:00.003-05:00

Okay, so in your head, maybe in the middle of the night, you say to yourself, "my life sort of sucks" or "I'm ready for something new and different" or "I think I'll move to Bali and start over." But, then you wake up in the morning and your day begins, like every other day and you silence the internal voice, suck it up and do what you always do.

Is this a familiar scenario? And, for how many years have you been doing this?

I get email all the time from people who dream quietly and sometimes even desperately, in their heads, but then squelch it and continue with the same old same old. Is it that they're idiots? NO, it's that they're scared, don't know how, feel overly obligated to others, dependent on the current lifestyle. You name it and the excuse is there.

More seriously, in some cases, they just don't even know that they are unhappy or that there are lurking desires. They're clueless, out of touch. They've buried their desires so down deep inside that they don't even remember them.

Wherever you are in this spectrum -- from KNOWING that you do want things to be different to CLUELESS ... here's an exercise you can take on. It works on the subconscious level and you don't even really have to think.

It's called Visioning or Creating a Vision Board. I'll take you through it one step at a time.
1. Get the following supplies and have them ready: a bunch of magazines, a pair of scissors, a glue stick, a poster board.
2. Give yourself permission to just go with it, not think and be playful.
3. Start to wonder / inquire inside: What would I love my life to look like in 2010?
4. Start going through the magazines. Everytime a picture grabs your attention, just rip it out (In addition to pictures, Words and phrases count)
5. Take all the pages you ripped out and start cutting out the portions of them that appeal to you -- photos, captions, words, etc.
6. Using the glue stick, start gluing them on the poster board. Be creative. You can cluster them (e.g. .. I have a section on my board related to business, another related to health, another to relationships) OR just put anything wherever you like the way it looks. THERE'S NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY TO DO THIS.
7. You can further decorate it if you'd like ... not necessary.
8. Once you have enough on the board, feel inspired by it, then put it up someplace where you can see it regularly. (I know it might not add to the beautiful art you have.. but you'll find a place.)

Voila -- you're done. Then, many times, every day, as you walk by the board, you'll be reminded of what "lights you up" for the next year. It will start working on you.
It's a way cool idea.

The only reason not to do this is to stay in whatever rut you're in. However, at the end of the year, do not complain that you're in the same place.
The reasons to do this ... well .. .everything. It's based on the premise, that if you can see it .. you can create it. It's what is talked about in the Law of Attraction.
So, it's up to you. How do you want to create your year?

I hope you take this on and enjoy it.
Happy 2010.
Remember -- no resolutions .. just intention and action.
Cheers and Have fun,
Ann

ReInventing a New Year, New Decade, New You! Take YOU ON!

2010-01-03T10:16:00.005-05:00

Happy 2010 ....
We are three days into this new year and decade. I've taken a bit of downtime and I've been reflecting about the last year, the last few years and what is to come. I'm energized and excited. I hope I can encourage you to feel that way too.

So, is it time to ReInvent a whole new relationship with yourself, your life, time, etc? Are you ready to take a LEAP? Are you tired of reacting rather than reinventing? If so, I've got some great questions to ask you. And, I invite you to answer them .. perhaps in a journal or on your computer in a word doc.
TAKE YOURSELF ON!

If you have any yearning for 2010 and the next decade to be DIFFERENT than the past, then do this for yourself. You DON'T have to settle!! Period. End of story.

First, some questions, then some resources.
Questions:
1. What are you thinking about as you begin this new year?
2. What are your reflections about the past year? How was it? (be honest)
3. What lessons did you learn this year?
4. What are your biggest challenges going into the new year?
5. What have you been putting off that now needs to happen? What are you waiting for?
6. How would you like to be better at your job or at work? What needs to be reinvented there?
7. If you were the best at what you do ... what would that look like?
8. What would you like to do with your one wild and crazy life? In other words, what have you always wanted to do, but haven't? Is this the year?
9. What are you grateful for?
10. What are your first 3 steps of action ... beginning NOW?

I hope you really will answer these questions and take yourself on. If not you, then who?
I know that change can be scary ... but much better to take it on willfully and by choice than to have it thrust upon you.

However, if change has been thrust upon you; if circumstances have intervened when you least expected them, then go here and listen to my most recent article called: Thriving After ...! http://tinyurl.com/2t3vgw I hope it excites you to move forward.

There are many resources for you to read and visit. Google the word "reinvention" and see what comes up. Go to http://www.selfgrowth.com and read fabulous articles. Stay tuned to my blog. I'll be challenging you regularly.

There are NO excuses NOT to take yourself on. I always ask myself, "if not now, when?" I absolutely refuse to settle for things being the same old, same old - the status quo. I invite myself to go further .. to go beyond who I know myself to be. And, I invite you to do the same.

Happy Week One of reinventing the new YOU, the new year and the new decade!
Please leave your comments on how you're doing. I'd love to hear from you.
Onward,
ann

P.S. DO NOT make resolutions -- you don't keep them, so they are insignificant. Just move forward with intention and action.

Out with the Old... In with the NEW

2009-12-29T18:24:00.003-05:00

Happy almost New Year's Eve and Day,
I'm writing today to invite you to take a few moments and to do an assessment of 2009 and then set your intentions for 2010. Below will be a series of questions for you to ask yourself.
Take some time, take a pad of paper or a journal and write your responses. I promise you you'll feel centered and directed by this exercise.

If you're ready for things to be different ... if you're ready to ReInvent even a little bit... then take this on. I'll be checking back with you soon AND I invite you to let me see some of your responses.
Stay tuned, there are some FREE teleclasses coming just after the NEW YEAR just to help you get jump-started.

So here goes ... happy assessing:

New Year Assessment and Planning Instrument – 2010

(Take out a journal, carve out about an hour, reflect and write … get a jump start on 2010)

I. What are you thinking as you begin this new year?

II. What are your reflections about the past year? How was it?

III. What lessons did you learn this year? What served you well, or showed you a few less pleasant aspects of yourself?

IV. What are your biggest challenges for the new year?

V. Where do you want to be at this time next year?

VI. What have you been putting off that now needs to happen?

VII. As we look at the various aspects of your life, let’s do a little inventory of each – list them all (e.g. health, fitness, work, relationships, finances, etc.) what’s working and what’s not?

VIII. How would you like to be better at your job?

IX. If you were “the best” at what you do, what would that look like?

X. Time to “fantasize” just a bit…. What would you like to do with your one wild and crazy life? In other words – what have you always wanted to do…. But haven’t? Might it be time?

XI. What are you grateful for? Make a list … NOW.

XII. So, where will you start as the calendar turns to this new year? What are your first steps? What’s your direction?

Congratulations! You’re well on your way to making 2010 your best ever year!!

ReInvent From the Inside Out

2009-12-23T09:33:00.003-05:00

Good morning,
It's 2 days and counting down til Christmas and a week and two days til New Year's Day. While many are hustling and bustling and doing the same old, same old of holiday craziness, others are going inward, being still, smiling, laughing and taking the season in stride. What's your approach?

Let's start with Christmas. Whether you celebrate Dec. 25th or not, you're in the midst of it. Yesterday, I was at a lunch meeting near Rockefeller Center (NYC) and then had to walk 8 blocks to my next destination .. walked right along 5th Avenue. If you know NY, you know that's a very busy street at all times, but during Christmas, it's really hustle and bustle. People are spending money (that they might not have) at Saks, Henri Bendel's, Tiffany's, etc. Walking along the street filled with many tourists (who walk 4 and more across, blocking the sidewalk) carrying big shopping bags is a challenge. Then, crossing at the corners (with heaps of piled snow) adds to the walking challenge. Sometimes it's easy to get frustrated. But, I just smiled, walked around people when I could, took my time and enjoyed the sunshine, brisk wind, and the opportunity to just observe people. I made it stress-free. It was awesome. I took a few moments to look at the beautiful shop windows, when I could get close enough to see them.

So, I ask you ... how can you still "reinvent" your relationship with Dec. 25th -- starting now? Can you be peaceful, knowing you'll get it all done? Can you be peaceful, knowing it will come around and maybe everything won't be done? Can you take a few minutes, several times a day, to be quiet within and renew yourself? And, then, ON Dec. 25th, amidst all the family to-do's, the meals to be cooked, can you approach it a way that serves you well. Can you reinvent within so that what occurs on the outside works better?

Then, moving into the week after Christmas, can you take time to approach the new year in a new way? Can you agree to take stock of your 2009, look at what worked and what didn't and set a plan for 2010 that serves you best? DON'T make resolutions -- you know you never keep them. But, DO set some intentions for how you'd like the year to be. Take plenty of quiet time to reflect.
Give yourself the gift of reinventing -- doing some new and different things.

I wish you a glorious Dec. 25th ... and will continue this discussion with you during the interim week.

Sincerely,
Ann
The REInvention Hotshot

Let's REInvent the Holidays

2009-12-20T08:22:00.003-05:00

Good Sunday morning,
It is December 20th, 5 days until Christmas and 12 days until New Year's Day. It is, for many of you, a very busy time. And, if you live along the East coast, there's the added pressure of difficult weather. I live in NYC and outside today it is white, white, white and shivering cold. We got hit with the first snow of the year and boy did it snow. It's beautiful out there AND it's a nightmare for people in adjoining states where they actually have to drive to the mall to shop. Retailers are freaking out, people are anxious about getting it all done.

Summary: All in all, everyone is worried, trying to figure it all out, wondering if it will all turn out, fearful about their pocketbooks (whether they are retailers or consumers.) Not a good feeling.

Every year at holiday time, it's the same thing. It's commercial and it seems to be a moral imperative to spend a lot of time and money having the perfect holiday -- gifts, food, entertaining and more. I lived that life for many, many years. Although I must admit ... I'm not such a perfectionist that I drove myself crazy with it having to be absolutely the best set table, decorations, guest list, etc. I did, however, do the gift-buying, food preparation, etc. But, not anymore. I don't have to anymore. I have one child (he is 31), I live alone at this point in my life. I am much more interested in experiences then in purchases. I give in other ways.

However, if you are still on that treadmill -- you have children waiting for Santa, you're a company deciding how to celebrate with your employees, etc., then I know you're in that place, yes, 5 days out, of having to get it all done.

So, how can you REINVENT the next five days and make it manageable? What can you create for yourself and your family and others that will provide an amazing experience of holiday cheer, tempered with NOT overspending, over-committing, etc? How can you create an attitude of gratitude and appreciation and awe and wonder for yourself and others? In other words, how can you do it all differently?

One thing you can do is download my FREE holiday e-book called Holiday Management 101: 35 Ways to Endure the Madness and Laugh Your Way Through the Holidays. There might be a couple of fun ideas for you there. Go to: http://www.humoru.com and click on the gift icon.
Another thing you can do is just to CHOOSE to make these next free days stress-free. Every new behavior begins with a declaration. So choose "peace" instead of stress or whatever words you might use.

The point: Have wonderful holidays. ReInvent your relationship about HOW you do the rest of the holiday week.
People often fear "reinvention." They think it means throwing their entire life up for grabs. I try to convince us that everytime we do even one thing differently, we ARE reinventing. So relax.

That's it for today. Thanks for reading ... and pass this on to your friends.
Thanks,
Ann

Welcome ... to the world of ReInvetion

2009-12-18T11:59:00.003-05:00

I'm happy to be starting this blog just as we begin to close out an old year and open up a new year.
For many of you (and me included) it's been a very challenging year.

I'll be blogging as regularly as I can (won't promise every day) about personal reinvention, corporate reinvention, resilience, rebounding, thriving and things having to do with taking the steps to do things differently.

By way of letting you know me, let me share my philosophy.
1. I believe that each and every one of us has the right to be happy and fulfilled in our lifetime
2. I believe that corporations, agencies, small businesses of all kinds have the responsibility to their workers and their customers to provide a culture where people thrive, are happy, fulfilled, appreciated
3. I'm a bit "pollyannaish" ... I look at the world sometimes through the eyes of a child -- with wonder and awe and beliefs like I just stated.
4. I think that most people and most businesses SETTLE for the STATUS QUO -- they settle for what is easiest, what came before them, the usual AND that they are often fearful to try new and different things
5. I also think that way too many people live their lives for others -- for what others expect of them, think they "should" do .. rather than for what they desire. Therefore, many people live lifes of quiet desperation, not having the courage to do what they really want.
6. I think corporations do what they have always done and fear being rebels or renegades .. and thus settle as well.
7. I think many people are what I call "dream snatchers." They don't allow people to follow their passion but rather push them in the direction of practicality. (example ... Many parents force their kids to major in certain subjects and settle into certain careers when in actuality those children have dreams and desires that fall outside of those areas.)
8. I think few people ever explore and adventure into new areas of their lives because they don't want the opposition of those around them.
9. The word REINVENTION itself scares the you-know-what out of most people. It rattles their comfort zone.
10. Most people die with their dreams still inside them... having NOT lived life out there on the skinny branches, but rather, inside in the cozy, warm comfort of ease.

So, all that being said, I hope you'll join me as I blog about myself, about others, about news-worthy topics relative to people, organizations, etc. living outside the comfortability .. on those skinny branches ... being who they world needs them to be ... being who they know themselves to be.

I hope you'll contribute, comment, communicate with me. I hope you'll send me articles. I welcome your disagreement AND I hope you'll be out there trying new things, being adventurous. I hope someday they'll say about you: "she/he broke the mold.!"

Welcome aboard.
Sincerely,
Ann
The ReInvention Hotshot
http://www.annfry.com
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2009-08-15T14:55:00.002-04:00

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